i saw a man licking his own toes. (jokes)

• When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle.Then I realized that God doesn't work that way.So I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness.
  

• He is a living proof that man can live without a brain!

• He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

• The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

• I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.

• I came into this world black, naked and ugly. And no matter how much I accumulate here, it's a short journey. I will go out of this world black, naked and ugly. So I enjoy life.

• Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret around a clock? A: Time will tell.